Out on a Limb

I never went out on a limb when I was younger. I blame it on my innate instincts to be safe. Here are the most adventurous and outrageous things I recall doing during my childhood and teenage years:

1. I drank 6 cans of soda in one night at a sleepover.

2. I jumped off a cliff into water below.

3. I tied my sister up to a tree while we were “pretending” and left her there for … several minutes.

4. I wore all green, made a hair accessory out of green curling ribbon, and put a temporary tattoo of a Shamrock on my cheek for St. Patrick’s Day.

5. My friends and I dressed up in all black and planned an awesome escape from our cabin at summer camp, despite the warnings that we’d be sent home if we were caught.

Here are the outcomes of those adventurous and outrageous things I did:

1. I spent the whole next morning throwing up and wasn’t allowed to spend the night at a friend’s house for a long time.

2. It was at a water park … and I had to make my sister push me because I was too scared to jump … and I’m sure it was probably a super wimpy cliff that seemed impressive at the time.

3. I accidently tied my sister up to a tree that had a massive red anthill at the bottom … did I mention I had gagged her too?

4. I’m pretty sure my festive St. Patrick’s Day get-up contributed to my best friend getting asked to prom by the guy I had a crush on.

5. We planned our escape for midnight and decided to get some sleep until then. We didn’t wake up until morning.

Going out on a limb was not my strong suit — at least not in an adventurous sort of way. The times when it really counts to go out on a limb are when a need arises to stand up for righteousness.

Go out on a limb and stick up for a classmate that is being bullied.

Go out on a limb and befriend the girl no one in your class likes.

Go out on a limb and discourage your peers from cheating or taking the easy way out.

Go out on a limb and start a Bible study before school, openly invite your friends to youth group, or bring your Bible to read during the bus ride, lunch, or study hall.

Noah went out on a limb and built the ark because God had told him to. He was ridiculed by everyone around him but he did what he knew was right — and that was to obey God (Genesis 6-7).

Rahab went out on a limb to help the Israelite spies escape from her city even though she knew the spies were intending on bringing back an army to destroy the city. Rahab knew that God was with the Israelites and stood up for righteousness (Joshua 2).

Queen Esther went out on a limb — in a big way. She risked her life to plead with the King to abolish a law that would kill all Jews. She stood up against the most powerful man in the kingdom because of a law that she knew was wrong (Esther 7).

What can you do to go out on a limb and stand up for righteousness?

Be Strong and Courageous

The first 24 hours of being home without my husband while he was at Basic Training was quite eventful. I had been warned by other Army wife friends to expect the unexpected from the minute I dropped off my husband.

I drove away from the recruiter’s office on February 21 with heavy sobs after watching my precious husband climb aboard a shuttle with a handful of other shippers. A few blocks later I pulled into a parking lot where I dabbed my tears, re-applied my mascara, and determined to be strong and courageous for the next six months of our first Army separation.

During the first eighteen years of my life I had live-in bug exterminators. They were called “mom and dad.” They were inexpensive, on-call at all hours of the night, and in fact, their response time was amazing — a simple squeal or a shake-down, freak-out dance was enough to summon their help.

In college I took on another live-in bug exterminator. This one was called “Kristina,” and she was my roommate. She was also an Army brat and would someday marry a handsome soldier herself.

When I got married I operated under the assumption that my husband would always be there to take care of me. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to kill and to chase out all vermin and bugs, as long as we both shall live.

But three and a half years into our marriage we sensed a new calling on our lives, and “always being there to take care of me” took on a little bit of a different form. My husband had a recurring desire to serve in the United States military in some capacity. After several years of having the same desire, we realized that was God’s way of getting our attention and re-directing us. I’ve never been more proud of or in love with my husband. God’s plans for our lives are always best!

Within the first 24 hours of my new determination to be strong and courageous while my husband was away, I saw the biggest spider of my whole life on the back porch. I was convinced it had fangs and was on a mission from Satan to destroy my confidence in myself and my strength to make it another 5 months and 29 days without my best friend and life partner. My puppy must have sensed that her “daddy” was gone, because she had taken on a wild and unruly personality that also ate away at my fragile strong and courageous new self. It was the perfect storm for an emotional meltdown. Everyone has different breaking points. After a gut-wrentchingly emotional and sleep-deprived week leading up to my husband’s departure, my breaking point came after a gargantuan spider and an uncontrollable puppy hit me when I was already feeling down. I laid on the couch wrapped in a blanket and let myself cry for the next forty-five minutes.

After a good night’s sleep and some quality time in prayer, I felt my strength return.

The message on my heart since the day my husband enlisted is to be strong and courageous. This phrase is mentioned several times in the Old Testament — primarily in the book of Joshua.

After Moses died, God called Joshua to be the next leader if the Israelites. Talk about some big shoes to fill! God must have known what was going through his mind, because Joshua was told by God several times to be strong and courageous.

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them” (Joshua 1:5,6, NIV).

Joshua had quite the adventure ahead of him. He was going to be leading the Israelites across the Jordan River to the land God had prepared for them. While praying about the decision to enlist in the military, my husband and I felt peace about embarking on the crazy six year adventure of being in the Army Reserves — he as the soldier, I as the wife. Just as God told Joshua to be strong and courageous in his situation, I feel God charging me to be strong and courageous in my situation.

Whether you’re overwhelmed with the responsibilities of taking over the bills, making repairs or mowing the lawn, disciplining children, feeling helpless and anxious while your loved one is away, being afraid of the noises you hear when you lay in your bed alone at night, or are simply struggling with seemingly insignificant stressors like killing your own bugs, find strength in the midst of it all by remembering this great verse:

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7, NIV).

Southern Migration

My parents moved from Minnesota down to Missouri, just 40 minutes south of me a week ago today. Their drive was complicated by the trailer they were towing, the need to stop and take quick naps at rest stops since they were each driving their own car and couldn't spell each other when they got tired, spontaneous hail storms, and tornado warnings. The state of Missouri truly went all out in its welcome to them.

At 11:40 the night they were arrive I got the dreaded severe thunderstorm warning text message to my phone. A millisecond later a second text alerted me that we were upgraded to a tornado warning. And then the sirens went off. Never a dull moment here in west Springfield. Fortunately, I hadn't changed into my pajamas yet and still had full make-up on, so at least I looked darn good during this tornado warning instead of like death coming out of a deep sleep. I flipped the TV on and called my dad to determine their location. They were just south of Bolivar...conveniently located in the bright red zone of imminent death, according to the animated predictions I was seeing on the weather report. Awesome. They put the pedal to the metal and increased their driving speed. Probably to a whopping 65 mph since they were towing a trailer of belongings to hold them over until the moving truck would arrive. I nervously paced until I saw their headlights out front. The wind had really picked up and a grandiose display of lightning highlighted the crazy dark clouds. There was no thunder or rain. Just wind and lightning. Scary. My dad backed the trailer up into the garage and pulled the cars into the driveway (my mom followed my dad down in her car). We frantically unloaded the cars and flipped the news back on.

What a way to make an entrance :) Under the cover of darkness and to the soundtrack of tornado sirens. Their new life in Missouri has officially begun!

American Idol

I'm sitting here watching the 2-hour season premier of American Idol...and am laughing at all of humanity. After I re-gain my composure from my hysterical laughter I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when it dawns on me that there are THIS many people year after year that put on an obnoxious show for the judges with a mis-guided impression that they have talent. Do those jokes realize that the people that actually make it through to Hollywood are the ones that are mature and calm and NORMAL during their audition? All I can say is thank you Fox for the added touch of slow motion film and an array of background music precisely fitting every possible scenario that unfolds. The extra mile you've gone vastly enhances my viewing experience...it's downright hysterical.

Let's look at a few things we can learn from this stage of American Idol.

1. It's important to surround ourselves with people who can speak truth into our lives...preferably people that are credible to speak truth. If there is an area you are interested in improving in, find a mentor. Learn. Listen. Grow. Get your reality check.

2. You can't be good at everything. Some, and by some I mean MOST, of the people in these auditions are horrible. It's okay to have a hobby. It's okay to completely enjoy something. But sometimes there's a cap to what we can accomplish.

3. You can't be best friends with everyone. I like Simon. Sometimes I think people need to be put on suicide watch after leaving the auditions, but I do like Simon. If I were auditioning for American Idol my conflict would not be with Simon...but with the other contestants. Particularly the weird ones. While it's necessary to be nice and courteous to everyone, sometimes that's the extent of what will develop.

And that's all for now. Excuse me while I mop myself up off the floor after thinking back to that sweet 16 year old girl at the beginning of the show who was 1 of 11 siblings...3 of which are down syndrome kids. She made it through to Hollywood and has an opportunity to accomplish her dreams...Tear!...it's so touching!

Uh oh...another 16-year-old girl with a grandma who has Alzheimer's....I feel another sob session coming on!

Trading in my Scandinavian Heritage

Besides my insatiable appetite for tacos,
Hispanic culture is becoming more of a part of my life these days, making me regret not continuing Spanish classes in college.

It all started when I got my job with the national Girls Ministries Department at the Assemblies of God headquarters. My boss is Hispanic and fluent in Spanish and English — she's our life savor with some of the hard-to-understand phone calls we get from the field.

The other day she was out of the office but had forwarded me an email to take care of. The email was in Spanish. I cracked my knuckles and set in to interpret the email AND respond in Spanish. I was gunna make my boss proud of me.

I had been having a hard time getting the right combinations of keys to work on the keyboard to get all of the accent marks over the letters that are so commonly used in the Spanish language, so after several frustrating attempts I decided to leave it as it was and hoped the woman I was emailing would "get it." I finished my paragraph, beaming with pride of basically being on the road to fluently speaking Spanish, and copied and pasted it all into freetranslations.com...just to make sure I wasn't accidently cursing at her in anything I was saying.

That's when I learned something. Apparently there are a few words in the Spanish language that actually change their meaning when you don't include the appropriate accent marks. The word "años" is one such word. I was trying to tell this woman that I had taken 5 years of Spanish. Without the seemingly insignificant squiggle above the n, "ñ", I said something about...5 anuses.

Needless to say, flustered and blushing, I quickly hit the backspace key as fast as I could to clear that from my email.

Another hint of "Español" that I have in my life now is that our new house is on W. La Casa. I know the "W." kinda un-Spanish-ifies it, but the point is, a majority of my street name is Spanish.

The final hint is that Nick and I are going to be parents — to a tiny, white, fluffy maltipoo puppy we've named Luna, which is Spanish for "moon". We are SO excited! In case you're not connecting the dots yet, that is her in the picture above. She still lives with the breeder in Iowa because she's only 3 weeks old, but she'll be ours on Saturday, February 13th. What's funny and actually really pathetic, is that I'm completely in love with her already and I've never met her. I liken it to what pregnant mothers feel when they see their baby on an ultrasound for the first time — they unconditioally love someone they've never even met yet. I'm in no way saying I feel that to the SAME extent as I would my ACTUAL baby, but just a hint :) It's a dog, people, I understand.

And now, in light of this conversation, I'm going to make shredded chicken tacos tonight. I think that sounds good :)

The Past 24 Hours

The past 24 hours have been prone to much hilarity. I couldn't resist sharing it with someone :)

Right at the end of the day yesterday I had to follow up with a Spanish customer that had a question that customer services wasn’t able to answer. After looking at the name I clarified with my boss, Olga, who is Hispanic, that the woman's name, Alvira, should be pronounced “Alv-EE-ra” instead of “Alv-EYE-ra” and then joked for a little bit about how white/midwestern I’d come off if I called her that. I made sure Olga was going to be in her office for a few minutes in case I called this woman and there was to big of a language barrier to communicate. So I dialed the number and had my schpeal all ready for when she answered. I knew what questions I needed to ask and I knew how I was going to solve her problems. We had 15 minutes of the work day left and I was going to end it on a good note.

But a man answered the phone, “Bueno?” and totally threw off my game. There were so many things wrong with that greeting — it was a man when I was expecting a woman (it was 2:30 California time...why wasn't he at work?!), and it was “Bueno” instead of “Hello.” I got so flustered I couldn’t even manage to introduce myself or what department I was calling from. I just said, “Hi...is Alv-EYE-ra there?” (DANG IT!) He said something in Spanish that I think would have had a question mark at the end of it had it been in English so I started again. “Is Alv-EE-ra there?” hoping he just didn’t know who I was asking for since I pronounced it wrong. He flew through another line of rapid-fire Spanish so I squeaked out, “un momento, por favor,” put him on hold and (still flustered) yelled back to Olga, “We’ve got a real Spanish speaker here!” You know...as opposed to the ungenuine Spanish speakers...?

It was bad. Olga laughed me to scorns after.

I stopped off at Walmart to pick up a prescription on my way home from an Arbonne party last night. My right hand had about 35 different creams on it so I was grateful to see that their claim to be 100% natural was accurate because I was not looking forward to explaining an allergic-reaction-ified hand to the pharmacist while just trying to get what I came for. I won't go into a lot of details, but when asked if I had "any questions for the pharmacist about this prescription" I innocently said that I had one or two so I was sent over to the next window for a "consultation." I waited a few minutes and was then presented with the opportunity to ask my questions...to a 30-some-year-old attractive pharmacist. Awesome. We both avoided eye contact while he gave me my answers. I walked away and immediately got on the phone with my mom to freak out.

I went to bed last night without anything else traumatic happening, but within the first 10 minutes of being at work today I got made fun of. On my walk to the elevator I walked past a man who works at the other end of the hall. He said, "I can see your long underwear," referring to the incredibly stylish white leggings I was wearing under my red dress. And he continued, "And they're high waters....you need to buy some that fit you better," referring to the fact that the incredibly stylish white leggings were capri style. Fortunately I had been walking with a friend who was able to defend my honor and produce a comeback faster than I was able to.

All that to say, I indulged myself with a hot chocolate as I attempted to re-start my work day on the right foot :)

Fighting a Split Personality

Last night I was reminded of one of the biggest things I hate about myself. Sometimes it's good to take an honest look at areas of weakness or insecurity.

James River put on another fabulous women's rally last night. The graphics were amazing, the decor was amazing, the Price is Right game was amazing...I left the volunteer rally on Wednesday night ready, willing, and able to walk right up to strangers the night of the rally, give them a hug, and invited them to be my best friend. Something drastic happened by the time Friday night rolled around. As I walked into the auditorium fear began to creep over me. In my haste to get there on time I had forgotten to pre-arrange a "buddy" to hang out with all night. And now that I was all the way there, I couldn't go home now. James River has been my home church for over 3 year now. By now I should be the confident one that seeks out girls to be-friend — but instead, I find myself constantly waiting for someone to be-friend me.

The ease of conversing, joking around and flat-out being obnoxious with my friends, relatives, and co-workers is essentially non-existent the minute I am out-numbered by unfamiliar people. And by essentially non-existent, I mean deer-in-the-headlights. It frustrates me when I find myself turning down opportunities because I don't think that I can handle them.

It's time for my split personality to be re-joined. I am determined to conquer my fear of being outgoing. I am determined to participate in the activities I want to without being afraid of doing them alone. I am determined to initiate conversations...and to sit by strangers...and to make friends :)