Last night I was reminded of one of the biggest things I hate about myself. Sometimes it's good to take an honest look at areas of weakness or insecurity.
James River put on another fabulous women's rally last night. The graphics were amazing, the decor was amazing, the Price is Right game was amazing...I left the volunteer rally on Wednesday night ready, willing, and able to walk right up to strangers the night of the rally, give them a hug, and invited them to be my best friend. Something drastic happened by the time Friday night rolled around. As I walked into the auditorium fear began to creep over me. In my haste to get there on time I had forgotten to pre-arrange a "buddy" to hang out with all night. And now that I was all the way there, I couldn't go home now. James River has been my home church for over 3 year now. By now I should be the confident one that seeks out girls to be-friend — but instead, I find myself constantly waiting for someone to be-friend me.
The ease of conversing, joking around and flat-out being obnoxious with my friends, relatives, and co-workers is essentially non-existent the minute I am out-numbered by unfamiliar people. And by essentially non-existent, I mean deer-in-the-headlights. It frustrates me when I find myself turning down opportunities because I don't think that I can handle them.
It's time for my split personality to be re-joined. I am determined to conquer my fear of being outgoing. I am determined to participate in the activities I want to without being afraid of doing them alone. I am determined to initiate conversations...and to sit by strangers...and to make friends :)
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