The Past 24 Hours

The past 24 hours have been prone to much hilarity. I couldn't resist sharing it with someone :)

Right at the end of the day yesterday I had to follow up with a Spanish customer that had a question that customer services wasn’t able to answer. After looking at the name I clarified with my boss, Olga, who is Hispanic, that the woman's name, Alvira, should be pronounced “Alv-EE-ra” instead of “Alv-EYE-ra” and then joked for a little bit about how white/midwestern I’d come off if I called her that. I made sure Olga was going to be in her office for a few minutes in case I called this woman and there was to big of a language barrier to communicate. So I dialed the number and had my schpeal all ready for when she answered. I knew what questions I needed to ask and I knew how I was going to solve her problems. We had 15 minutes of the work day left and I was going to end it on a good note.

But a man answered the phone, “Bueno?” and totally threw off my game. There were so many things wrong with that greeting — it was a man when I was expecting a woman (it was 2:30 California time...why wasn't he at work?!), and it was “Bueno” instead of “Hello.” I got so flustered I couldn’t even manage to introduce myself or what department I was calling from. I just said, “Hi...is Alv-EYE-ra there?” (DANG IT!) He said something in Spanish that I think would have had a question mark at the end of it had it been in English so I started again. “Is Alv-EE-ra there?” hoping he just didn’t know who I was asking for since I pronounced it wrong. He flew through another line of rapid-fire Spanish so I squeaked out, “un momento, por favor,” put him on hold and (still flustered) yelled back to Olga, “We’ve got a real Spanish speaker here!” You know...as opposed to the ungenuine Spanish speakers...?

It was bad. Olga laughed me to scorns after.

I stopped off at Walmart to pick up a prescription on my way home from an Arbonne party last night. My right hand had about 35 different creams on it so I was grateful to see that their claim to be 100% natural was accurate because I was not looking forward to explaining an allergic-reaction-ified hand to the pharmacist while just trying to get what I came for. I won't go into a lot of details, but when asked if I had "any questions for the pharmacist about this prescription" I innocently said that I had one or two so I was sent over to the next window for a "consultation." I waited a few minutes and was then presented with the opportunity to ask my questions...to a 30-some-year-old attractive pharmacist. Awesome. We both avoided eye contact while he gave me my answers. I walked away and immediately got on the phone with my mom to freak out.

I went to bed last night without anything else traumatic happening, but within the first 10 minutes of being at work today I got made fun of. On my walk to the elevator I walked past a man who works at the other end of the hall. He said, "I can see your long underwear," referring to the incredibly stylish white leggings I was wearing under my red dress. And he continued, "And they're high waters....you need to buy some that fit you better," referring to the fact that the incredibly stylish white leggings were capri style. Fortunately I had been walking with a friend who was able to defend my honor and produce a comeback faster than I was able to.

All that to say, I indulged myself with a hot chocolate as I attempted to re-start my work day on the right foot :)